Because You're A Woman
The book deals with her personal relationships in respect of the effects of the abuse; the impact of the birth of her daughter and her experience of the different therapies and healing paths that she took, revealing how she finally broke free from the burden of guilt.
Through a combination of engaging prose and compelling, dramatic poetry, this story illuminates, with tears and laughter, the trials she endures throughout her battle; and the strengths that take her to ultimate triumph.
“Repay no-one evil for evil, have regard for good things in the sight of all men. If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men”
Think there may be something there for all of us.
Happy New Year
I have just received yet another of those pretty, pretty u tube videos which show the beauty of our world by slow moving camera play on mountains and lakes, oceans and plains, whilst baby wild animals tumble and play, or wild horses gallop along a beach; beautiful choral music playing in the background. And yes these videos do remind us what an amazing, stunning and diverse world we live in.
But what about our responsibility for this world? What about showing the neglect of millions of children whose lives are one of constant deprivation. Homeless, loveless, starving, cold and in many instances abused. The street children of Columbo who scavenge amongst the rubbish heaps and gutters for scraps of food. Little girls in Thailand who are prostituted for the satisfaction of American and German tourists. Children thrown into bare and uncaring orphanages where they are left in cots, to amuse themselves - deprived of conversation or physical contact.
Perhaps at New Year we should all be looking at this ugly underbelly of the world in which we live and remind ourselves that so much more needs to be done before it truly can be called “A beautiful world!”
Scandalous
Seeing the great effort that politicians, newspaper magnates, journalists and anyone else who has enough clout to get themselves written about in the press, are putting into covering their behinds to avoid contamination in the phone hacking scandal; I cannot help but wonder what a great difference could be made to so many lives if they actually took their heads out of the clouds of that rarefied atmosphere wherein they all exist and applied as much effort in helping to prevent the contamination of childrens’ lives by sexual abuse.
Max Pemberton wrote in the Telegraph last week about the tragedy of the collapse of Southern Cross care homes.
In his article he wrote:”Those who are dependent on others for their personal care and well being are frequently in a uniquely helpless position in society, physically unable to remove themselves from terrible situations, voiceless and disenfranchised”
Ring any bells anyone?
Thousands of our children are living this way - totally dependent for love and care on those who are abusing them, helpless with nowhere to turn, and no-one to turn to. And yes this too will have a detrimental impact on their health and well being! As a society, we must wake up, open our eyes and see what is happening all around us - and then do something about it!
Having set aside this weekend to write, I had no excuse this morning not to sit down at my laptop and start. But as usual, when faced with what I consider a monumental task, I dithered and found odds and bits of jobs to do, that in all honesty could have waited for another day. To try and discipline myself and clear my mind, I lay on the sofa in my conservatory, listening to some worship tapes and watching the birds feed from the nutpen hanging from the outside lamp. I prayed. I handed up to God the issues that are currently worrying me - why did He place my daughter such a long way away in Cornwall when she moved last year? Having just returned home from another brief but joy filled stay with her and her family I struggle now with why I have yet another set of tearful goodbyes in my life. But I trust in His overview - he sees the big picture. When the time is right we shall be closer again I know. I asked Him to convict me of my wish to write this second book, a book that has been on my heart for several years now, even before I finished ‘Because you’re a Woman’. And as I lay there watching the birds the answer came. The words that came into my head so clearly:
“You have been pregnant for a long time now. It is time to give birth to this new child. Yes the birth will be a struggle and painful, but it will bring so much light and joy.”
No doubt there then!
So I have been tapping away now for five hours and it is finally begun. And I am enjoying it, the thoughts and words tumbling around and out of my mind. Let us pray that I can keep the discipline and block the days that I need to channel these thoughts into the form that He needs.
Jacki Rodikis - Saturday July 16th 2011
Sleepy Welford village holds second ‘Welfest on the Meadow’. With three stages and twenty bands even the grim British weather didn’t stop the fans from coming to the music festival at Welford on Avon yesterday. Great bands and singers, bar open until all hours, pig roast, bar b que and a brilliant atmosphere. Well done to Simon and the team!
Letter of praise from Felix Dennis
We have received a wonderful letter of praise from British poet and entrepreneur Felix Dennis about Because You’re A Woman.
Thank you so much for your book, Because You’re a Woman. I haven’t read it properly yet but I have already thoroughly enjoyed several of the poems in it. My only suggestion would be that, if the book is reprinted, you include a contents page showing on what pages the various poems appear as there was one in particular about buying your mother a necklace, ‘Letter to Mummy’, which it took me several minutes to locate again when I wanted to read it to someone.
Many congratulations on Because You’re a Woman and I hope it meets with a great deal of success.
It certainly deserves to.
With all best wishes,
(signed Felix)
Felix Dennis
Radio 4 Today
I was pleased to hear the interview carried out by John Humphries this morning on the Today programe with the young woman who told of her sexual abuse when she was a child. Whilst the NSPCC representative emphasised that this is a serious issue and that they believe that childhood sexual abuse is on the increase I was disappointed that he did not take the opportunity to give some of the statistics. These are shocking - as we know the cross party government report of 2007 establishes that 1 in 5 young women report being sexually abused. Note these are the reported cases only! Perhaps also they could have taken the opportunity to mention the hundreds of thousands of women who are struggling with the devastating long term effeccs of childhood sexual abuse and made a point of the desperate need for more support services to be funded.
Nevertheless it was good to hear this sensitive subject being aired, and congratulations to the young woman being interviewed. I applaud her courage in speaking out. Lets us hope we shall see and hear more of this.
Wonderful time at the Swindon Literary festival!
Yesterday my interview with Hilda Schlon took place at the Arts Centre Swindon, as part of this year’s Literary Festival. Whilst feeling very nervous at the outset, I soon relaxed into the interview – greatly helped by Hilda’s enquiring mind and gentle questioning. A great plus was that she had read the book. During the interview I read two of the poems ‘Letter to Mummy’ (during which I found it difficult to hold back my own tears) and ‘New Baby’ - as a way to confirm my answers to her questions and perhaps explain more fully what my feelings were at the time.
‘Because you’re a Woman’ was the intended topic – how I came to write the book, what I had gained from writing it and what happens next! But once we had covered these questions the conversation moved onto childhood sexual abuse, the effects on families, why it happens, and how can we act to prevent it from happening. The audience were more than ready to ask questions and join in the discussion and it was apparent that women were approaching the subject from many different interest groups - teachers, family members, charity trustees, university students and some who were just intrigued and wanted to know more. I was delighted that the conversations and questions continued after the interview when they came with copies of the book to be signed.
I reiterated my belied that women can become a powerful force when they act together and that my hope is that ‘Because you’re a Woman’ will open up much needed new discussion on this subject. We have to break the taboo that still hangs around it and bring it into the public arena. Only that way will we provide more and better help to those suffering with the long term effects, and bring offenders to prosecution.
Hilda also gave me the opportunity to talk of my experience at the magical Lee Abbey, and to tell how in recent years my faith has been ‘the icing on the cake’ of my road to healing. If you want to know more then read the book!
Thank you to Matt Holland’s team who made me feel very welcome and at ease beforehand, and to all of my friends who have prayed for me, and the interview.
Easter Blog
Good Morning Tweethearts – I may be out of the loop for a week or two so whilst I am away – keep loyal and take good care of each other.
In the meantime here is something for you to ponder over Easter:
READ- Isaiah 53 – (Isaiah spoke these words 740 years before Jesus was born.)
“……. He is despised and rejected by men. A Man of sorrows and acquainted with grief. And we hid our faces from Him; He was despised and we did not esteem Him.”
“Surely He has borne our griefs; and carried our sorrows;”
“But He was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities; the chastisement for our peace was upon Him, and by His stripes we are healed.”
“Yet He opened not His mouth, He was led as a lamb to the slaughter.”
WATCH- ‘The Passion of Christ’ – and see what we did to Him. And yet He loves us still so much.
LISTEN – be still and listen for the voice of Him who loves us, the servant King.
“Behold I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come into him and dine with him, and he with Me.” (Rev 3.20)
Be still and know that He is God. (Ps 47)
#5petals
I have received another letter from a lady who is struggling with the long term effects of sexual abuse - she has given me permission to use her words:
“At times I just want the pain and hurt to stop and to be able to find safe channels for all the anger; to be able to find a time of peace and calm in my life away from all the depression and anxiety. ”
She felt compelled to write to me after reading ‘Because you’re a Woman’.
“I bought it last week, and once I picked it up I couldn’t put it down”
I wrote ‘Because you’re a Woman’ because I believed that it would encourage and inspire other women. There are so many who need this encouragement to speak out. There are so many who are suffering as she is. There are so many who could benefit from reading how I was able to learn to release the anger and pain. And we all need to understand what the devastating long term effects are to be able to empathize and support.
1 in 5 women in the UK have experienced sexual abuse. That is millions of women living in the UK coping with the long term effects – which range through depression, inexplicable anger, anxiety, eating disorders, flashbacks, substance abuse and suicide.
If you haven’t yet read the book please do - and then encourage others to. Don’t be afraid of the subject matter. It’s not written to shock and is handled in a way that eases reading about it.
